devil on bay

the absence of god does not bring me comfort
it only brings me closer to myself
keeps the bats at bay
makes the noise only background
and keeps the devil on bay

he looks up at me smiling
wondering how soon til i embrace him
that is again and once more
lying in his warm embrace
claws withdrawn and mouth opening

and i look up at his gaping jaw
more open for peace than for biting
and i close my eyes and disappear
into his red mind so full of need
that i can't help but swallow

so i won't come back to you- love
family and past get washed up under us
thinking and swimming are one
and my chin is floating above
yet i'm never gasping or wanting for air

instead i become that old fierce beast
the one you used to shield me from
and i brace myself for fall and am ready
the blood rolls inside my eyes and chest
as i bob to the top of this day