bootsteps

excited at your return i wait by the hall
following your scent across the seas
watching the days of anticipation sharpen
heart-wrenched at just the thought
lying there with my eyes just shut
seeing your smile and arms opening

Remembering my happiness will return
i constantly remind myself to breath
holding my ownself tightly hugging
imagining that my arms are yours only
seething small gasps through closed teeth
the confusion of missing is overwhelming

Will you come back to me now and never go?
stay in our place together here forever
forgive my shortfallings as they are many
bind our misgivings in understanding
label our sadnesses past as groundbreaking
the future is ours for the living

i could write about your missing figure still
wanting my heart to type more and more
shivering with shoulders broken soon to swell
into real life presence with you in this hall
a door left wide open with every welcome mat
i'm collapsed at the ghost of your bootsteps